I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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