I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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