they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
