I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
