I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
