Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
