I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
