She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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