i was born a porn star she said
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
