We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
