I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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