i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
