After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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