Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
