he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
