you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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