Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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