no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
