I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
