You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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