Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
