Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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