So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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