Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
