Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He passed out mid-signature
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
