this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
