Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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