You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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