I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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