Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good

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(817): View more from Texas

So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex

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(250): View more from British Columbia

IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

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(315): View more from New York

On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.

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(425): View more from Washington

I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day

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(410): View more from Maryland

we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.

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