I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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