A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
