New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
