so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
