I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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