she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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