hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
