Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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