idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
