ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
