Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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