Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
