She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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