wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
