i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
