I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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