TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
