my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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