pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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