you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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