its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
