I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
