Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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