i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
